How to Get Kids to Eat Healthy Family Meals
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In Michael Pollan’s seminal book, “In Defense of Food,” he proposes the following thesis: “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” By eating food, he means products of nature, not products of food science.
I can relate to his thesis.
My wife and I have two boys, ages 8 and 10. We have chosen to raise them to consume a diet of real, well-grown, almost entirely unprocessed foods. In our own home, we are constantly learning which foods are healthy, how different foods make us feel and how to make thoughtful choices, while at the same time deriving tremendous pleasure from eating. Additionally, we’ve learned how to establish a healthy relationship with the process of eating.
Our families and many of our peers are impressed with how we have been able to raise two young kids in this food philosophy. Yet they also express concern that our kid are somehow missing out on both “food variety” and “valuable nutrition.” (I put those terms in quotes because they are highly subjective.)
If you’ve ever banged your head against the wall looking for new ways to get your little ones – and even their older siblings – to eat healthier and establish a healthy relationship with food, this mock interview will provide insight into our own process and what we’ve learned along the way.
What is the Goal of Consciously Kosher?
I started Consciously Kosher two years ago based on my own learnings around how to feel better while enjoying the food that I was eating. With this project, my goal is to transform peoples lives by teaching them to make healthier choices about what they eat and how they live. We develop most of the source material out of our own experience in the kitchen with our kids. This includes both the successes and the challenges. In the process, I’ve learned a tremendous amount about how to raise a family around this food philosophy.
Professionally, I am a freelance food and nutrition writer. So I think about better ways to feed my family all the time!
What Does Mealtime Look Like in Your Household?
Family meals are a big part of our lives. We eat every dinner together, and on weekends and non-school days, even lunches. Friday night dinners can last for hours and often include guests. The goal is to have everyone sit down and be present. We use this time to talk about our days, or to talk about the food itself. Not surprisingly, the pandemic strengthened this trend.
Breakfast is a particularly engaging meal. Since we make so much of it from scratch, there’s a collaborative aspect to it. I usually prepare hard boiled eggs and fresh plant milk (usually almond or cashew) while the boys are making their lunches. Then my 8-year-old will eat his cereal with the homemade milk. This provides us a further opportunity to talk, as the milk is a little different each time.
What Are Some of Your Non-Negotiable Rules Around Mealtimes?
We have a rule that we all must sit together during mealtime, without distractions. We don’t allow phones or devices at mealtime. They should be off the table and on silent mode. This is the ideal and we work hard to protect this boundary, although it does occasionally get breached.
What Food-Related Behaviors Do You Model For Your Family?
We model consistency. What we expect from our kids, we must also model for ourselves. This can be challenging, but it is super important that we do not expect our kids to eat one type of meal while we feed ourselves something different. For instance, we have no hidden pantry staples stocked with soft drinks or cheap crackers.
The same goes for when I am out and about with the kids. When we attend family events, my kids will defer to me on whether a particular dish is OK to eat.
Besides consistency, another behavior that we model is reading ingredient labels on packages. My kids will instinctually read those labels when they are offered food outside our home. If it’s a freshly prepared dish, they will ask what’s in the food and whether the ingredients are organic or conventional.
Do the Kids Follow the Same Healthy Food Habits at School?
They almost always follow the same habits. We strive to provide lunches that are both tasty and filling, so that the boys do not have to resort to other snacks.
After raising the boys to eat a certain way for over 7 years, I’ve now empowered them to make exceptions as they see fit. Our communication is very strong. For instance, at his 5th grade graduation last week, my 10-year-old tried Sprite and cake for the first time in years. He reported the experience to me, including how amazing the Sprite tasted on that particular celebratory occasion – and how awfully sweet the cake was! It is better to have the open line of communication than to have your child secretly binge.
My wife is more loose than I am about her exceptions, although she tries not to bring those foods into our home. It is not perfect, and that is the beauty of it! We are a work-in-progress with our food, like every other family. We started in the same place as everybody else, so I know this is not an insurmountable goal.
According to my 10-year-old: “Having bad food hurts your body and your mind. On the other hand, eating healthy is a few small steps and adjustments that make a big difference.”
Do You Have Conversations About the Health of Foods With Your Kids?
All the time!! For instance, we discuss the nutrients in green leafy vegetables. We are also open about how some foods are better for digestion or moving bowels than others, or if a certain food is causing inflammation. This informs what the boys decide to eat.
My 10-yr-old also runs a very successful candy stand on Sunday afternoons. He sees candy and junk foods as transactional items that lead to revenue for him. But he has also become uncomfortable selling it to other people, knowing that it can harm their health. So he wants to sell off his supply and start a different business.
How Do You Manage Finicky Eating With Kids Under 10 Years Old?
My 8-yr-old gets hangry after school. Rather than going crazy on salty snacks that are high in carbs but low in nutrition, his go-to snack is Wild Planet sardines. This fills him until dinner and keeps him from chowing down on crunchy snacks (even the healthy ones!).
On the other hand, he has a strange aversion to onions – as long as he can see them in a food. He will pick them out, one by one. But if they are blended into the food, then he is fine with them. So we have learned to hide them or make a version without onions. Immersion blenders come in very handy for this purpose, especially in the winter, when we make lots of blended veggie soups.
This tactic works particularly well with green smoothies too. My kids eat plenty of greens, but they don’t seem to like chard or beet leaves.
What Alternatives Do You Offer Him?
We've honed the fine art of offering multiple alternatives to common foods, including pastas, homemade plant milks, snacks, fruits and veggies. We don't stay on any one ingredient for long!
My 8-yr-old used to love white pasta. When he was 3 years old, we gradually introduced alternatives, starting with brown rice pasta, then moving on to lentil, chickpea, cassava, quinoa, einkorn wheat, sweet potato, cauliflower and many others.
He also loves oats. He loves them so much that he makes recipes with oats, including delicious banana blueberry oat pancakes that he helped come up with. So I bought him three different types of oats to experiment with.
We get the same result with fruits, only this is due to their natural seasonality: every couple of months, the fruits completely change over to whatever is in season. So he doesn't get stuck for too long on any particular fruit.
How Do You Manage Finicky Eating With Kids Over 10 Years Old?
My 10-yr-old is already very seasoned, and ha been since he was 3 years old. At this point, I let him choose his foods from among the palette of ingredients that we have at home. But this is not without its own challenges. As all kids do, he often decides that he does not want to eat what is on the table on any given day.
How Do You Resolve This Situation?
If he does not like what we are eating, then he can make his own meal. He is developing a strong sense of individuality in the kitchen and at the table, so I do not know where this trend will lead. My hope is that his love of fresh ingredients will continue to guide him.
What is a Go-to Meal in Your Home That is a Guaranteed Winner?
We are lucky to have several go-to winners:
By far, the #1 biggest hit is red lentil pasta with olive oil and dry or fresh herbs, spices and some cayenne pepper. My kids get very competitive with their toppings! Their current favorite topping is Berbere Spice mix made by Frontier Coop.
Two other big hits are sweet potato and black bean tortillas and my wife's homemade sushi rolls that are usually completely vegan.
We also have a number of reliable side dish winners, such as homemade dehydrated kale chips, fresh carrots and cucumbers, steamed broccoli and oven-baked French fries. The kale chips are our version of Pringles potato chips: a guilty and messy pleasure that we fight over!
How Involved Are Your Kids in the Meal Planning/Prepping Process?
The entire family is very involved with food purchasing decisions. I discuss ingredients with my wife and kids every Sunday morning before I go to the farmers market. The boys often come with me. They get to choose a few veggies of their choice, along with some in-season fruits for snacks. And they discover, hands on, where their food comes from.
As they get older, I am giving them more leeway to decide their own meals, starting with side dishes.
We also encourage them to look up recipes and experiment. So they choose the ingredients, too. We’ve learned that when the kid are involved in the cooking process, they’re more willing to eat what gets served on the table.
Can They Make Some Recipes on Their Own?
My 10-yr-old can sauté snap peas, make eggs and cook pasta on his own, with no input from us. My 8-year-old has a pancake recipe that he partially came up with. He takes out all the ingredients, measures and mixes them.
Both kids know that they have to have a few veggies at every meal: this usually includes taking 2-3 from a list of whatever we have in the fridge each week. This may include veggies such as carrots, cucumbers, fennel bulb, several varieties of lettuce and avocado. In our house, the kitchen is open. The kids know that they are allowed to look up recipes, cook and use any ingredients from the fridge or pantry. That is because there is nothing in there that I don't want them to eat: no hidden chips, cookies or candy bars.
What Kinds of Snacks Do Your Kids Eat?
While almost everything that we eat is made from fresh ingredients, sometimes there is a need for packaged snacks.
We have a strong emphasis on allowing the boys to choose their crunchy snacks from a growing list of "approved" brands whose ingredients we’ve vetted. These include:
Mary’s Gone Crackers and Top Seedz (seed crackers)
Simple Mills (almond flour)
From The Ground Up (cauliflower chips and cauliflower stalks)
Boulder Canyon (potato chips with avocado oil)
…and a number of others.
They also know the criteria by which these snacks get chosen (like cooking oils, additives, flavors or preservatives) so they can make informed decisions when they are on their own, at a friend's house or at school.
Your Turn!
What are some ways in which you get your kids to eat the healthy food? What does mealtime look like in your household?
